How to Help With Homework When You Don't Know the Answer

The short answer

You don't need the answer to help. Your job is to help your child work out where they're stuck, point them back to the material their teacher gave them, and ask questions that move them one step at a time. When that doesn't work, you stop and let the teacher know. None of that requires you to know the answer first.

In fact, not knowing can make you a better helper. When you already know the answer, it's hard not to steer toward it. When you don't, you're forced to do the useful thing: listen to how your child is thinking.

What to say in the first ten seconds

The moment your child asks and you realise you don't know is the moment that sets the tone. A long pause, a sigh, or "hang on, let me look at that" followed by five minutes of you silently reading tends to go badly. Try saying something honest and forward-looking instead:

"I'm not sure either. Let's work out what the question wants first."

"I don't know this one off the top of my head. Show me what you've done so far."

"Good question. Where did you learn about this — do you have notes or an example?"

Each of these keeps the pencil in your child's hand. You've admitted you don't know, and you've also shown that not knowing is where the work begins, not where it ends.

Why guessing or pretending makes it harder

It's tempting to bluff. Nobody enjoys admitting that a Grade 5 worksheet stumped them. But guessing tends to create problems that last longer than the homework session:

• If your guess is wrong, your child learns something incorrect with your authority behind it — and may argue with the teacher about it.
• If you use a method from your own school days, it may clash with the one taught in class. We cover that in detail in our guide to helping with math when you don't recognise the method.
• If you guess confidently and then backtrack, your child sees the adult get flustered, which can make them more anxious about being wrong themselves.
• Pretending teaches that not knowing is embarrassing. Your child will copy that and hide confusion instead of asking.

"I don't know yet" is a far better lesson than a confident wrong answer.

Start with what your child already understands

Your child sat through the lesson. You didn't. That means they almost always know more about this topic than you do right now, even if it doesn't feel that way to them. Start by drawing that out:

"What was the lesson about today?"

"What do you already know that might help with this?"

"Is there any part of this question that makes sense to you?"

Children who say "I don't get any of it" usually get more than they think. Once they explain the parts they do understand, the real gap often turns out to be small.

Pin down exactly where they're stuck

"I'm stuck" can mean very different things. The question might use a word they don't know. They might understand the question but not know the first step. They might have done three steps and lost track on the fourth. Each one needs a different kind of help, so it's worth finding out which it is before doing anything else.

A quick way to locate the gap

• Ask them to read the question aloud and tell you what it's asking, in their own words.
• Ask what they would do first. If they can't say, the gap is at the start.
• If they've started, ask them to talk you through their working line by line. Listen for the point where their explanation slows down or goes vague.
• Circle that spot together. That is the only part you need to work on.

If you're not sure whether the work is genuinely beyond your child or just unfamiliar, the Homework Difficulty Checker can give you a quick read before you spend more time on it. Our article on what to do when your child says "I don't get it" goes deeper into the different kinds of stuck.

Use the lesson, not your memory

Your best resource isn't a search engine. It's whatever the teacher sent home: the textbook page, class notes, a worked example on the worksheet, a photo of the board. These show the exact method and vocabulary your child is expected to use.

The trick is to use these materials to guide, not to solve. Rather than finding the worked example and copying its steps onto the homework, put them side by side and let your child do the comparing:

"Here's the example from class. What did they do first? Can you do the same thing with your numbers?"

"This page uses the word 'justify.' What does the book say that means?"

"Is your question like this example, or is something different?"

If there are no notes at all, that's useful information too. Your child may need to start bringing home the textbook or photographing examples, and it's worth mentioning to the teacher.

Questions that move your child forward

Good questions do the work that explaining would do, without handing over the answer. A few that work for almost any subject:

• "What is the question actually asking you to find or do?"
• "What information does it give you?"
• "Have you seen a question like this before?"
• "What's one small thing you could try?"
• "If you had to guess, what would you guess — and why?"
• "Does that answer make sense? How could you check?"

If you'd like questions tailored to a specific subject or grade, the Parent Question Generator creates a set you can use at the table. We also explain why asking questions works better than giving answers.

Learning alongside your child — without taking over

Sometimes the honest thing is to learn the topic together. That's fine, as long as your child stays the one doing the homework. A few ground rules help:

• Read the notes together, but let your child read aloud or summarise.
• If you look something up, look up the idea, not the answer to the exact question.
• When you understand something first, resist explaining it. Ask a question that points them toward it.
• Keep your own paper for scribbling, so their page stays their work.

For more on this, see how to explain a lesson you don't fully understand and helping when you don't remember the lesson.

When to stop and ask the teacher

Knowing when to stop is part of helping. It's time to put the question aside if:

• You've both checked the notes and examples and there's nothing that matches.
• Your child has made a real attempt and is getting upset or shutting down.
• The same topic has caused trouble on several nights.
• You'd have to teach a whole new method from scratch to get through it.

Have your child write what they tried, or add a short note yourself. An honest "I got stuck here" tells the teacher far more than an answer you helped produce. Help your child phrase it:

"Let's write down which part you understood and where you got stuck, so your teacher can help with exactly that."

Conclusion

Not knowing the answer doesn't disqualify you. Stay calm, say you're not sure, start from what your child knows, find the exact sticking point, and use the class material to guide them. When that runs out, a clear note to the teacher is a perfectly good outcome. Homework Together can help with the harder part — knowing what to say and ask for a specific question — by turning a pasted worksheet or photo into a step-by-step coaching guide.

Frequently asked questions